By I. B. Somebody
Rumor on a Queer Ledger
Humor with a Gay Edger
A Legend in my Own Grime
April 30, 2009
NBC's Parks and Recreation continues to be funny as hell. Tonight, Leslie Snope (Amy Poehler) opened an illegal gift basket worth over twenty-five dollars and had to face corruption charges. Meanwhile, the citizens of the town have begun to throw their trash in the abandoned construction site Leslie is trying to make into a park.
It just gets weirder and weirder! Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean, who said she was against gay marriage during this year's show, said Thursday she plans to go to Washington to stump for heterosexual unions on Capitol Hill. Prejean told the Today show she's joining the National Organization for Marriage in an attempt to "protect traditional marriages." The Miss California Pageant paid for her breast implants. How about we gays start a campaign to save natural breasts?
Funniest Line Ever: (30 Rock) Elaine Stritch, playing Jack’s mother, says it doesn’t matter, after being told her beau is married: “A guy like that—who can drive at night—you just don’t say no to that.”
April 29, 2009
American Idol the results: I was right for the sixth time in a row about who was voted off—Matt Giraud again. This time the judges have no votes left with which to save him so that’s that. Except he’ll be part of the Top Ten fifty-city summer tour, of course and show up on all the talk shows, natch.
I must say I was super shocked Adam Lambert was part of the bottom two. He’s been the most consistently stellar performer of them all. We need to get off our butts and vote like crazy next time, kids!
Natalie Cole’s rendition of “Something’s Gotta Give” on American Idol was harsh and disappointing, in spite of her new kidney. She looked good but the vocal was flat.
What the hell was that Jamie Fox performance all about? Ryan Seacres said his song is number one. Whaaat? Is the title “Number One” or is it number one on the charts? My guess is it’s only the title.
What a shame Kirstie Alley gained all that weight back. It does not look good on her. But why in the hell did she decide to go public with her dilemma at the same time Valerie Bertinelli debuted her new six-pack ala bikini on the Jenny Craig TV ads? Talk about a slap in the face!
My old straight prison camp buddy, Rick Carrasco, called last night. He wanted an electronic copy of The Happy Campers, the semi-autobiographical novel I wrote “about him,” for his new girlfriend. Okay, I’m perfectly willing to let him think the whole manuscript was “about him,” as I know it does his ego good. Plus it helps him impress the ladies by showing his gentler, more compassionate side, having a close gay friend who’s in love with him and all. In any case, I always feel better after we talk. He recharges my batteries like no one else can! Plus his sexy voice drives me craaaaaazy! It’s been nine years since we were incarcerated together but it feels like just yesterday. Although it may seem strange, those were the happiest five months of my unexpectedly long, bittersweet life!
A Freudian slip—or was it?— on Oprah today as she talked to a Nevada prostitute, after being told men sometimes pay to be nagged: Oprah said, “I’ve been doing this since 1785 and I’ve never heard of such a thing!” Did she mean to say 1985 or is she really the mother of us all?