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Monday, April 27, 2009

Rumor on a Queer Ledge

Rumor on a Queer Ledger
Humor with a Gay Edger

A Legend in my own Grime
==copyright 2004-2009==
April 27, 2009
While watching Desperate Housewives last night, I kept feeling like something was missing and then I realized it was Wisteria Lane ho’ Edie Britt (Nicollette Sheridan). Marc Cherry actually killed her off last week and it wasn’t a dream. Despite rumors of a rift between the show’s creator and Sheridan, Cherry claims the real reason he done her in is she’d already slept with everyone possible and, besides, the network put pressure on him to cut costs. At least, that’s what he told TV Guide. Gee! I guess things really are tough all over!

Funniest Line Ever: (Scrubs repeat on Comedy Central) “My son is also a fan of baseball. Well, not so much for watching as for the designing and sewing of uniforms.”—Dr. Kelso. I know it shouldn’t be funny, but it is!

It was fun to have Charlie (Charlie Sheen)’s stalker, Rose (Melanie Lynksey) return as a blind date for Alan (Jon Cryer) on Two and a Half Men tonight. I laughed my ass off.
April 26, 2009
I enjoyed seeing the rebellious Sinead O’Conner sing “Nothing Compares to You” on BBC America’s Graham Norton Show last night, but you’d think her hair would’ve grown out by now! I wonder if the Pope was watching. Oh, that’s right. He’s dead. Well, maybe the new one is a fan. Ya think?

“Plumb funny!” is the only way to describe Mad TV’s parody CSI: Mayberry on Saturday night’s show. The characters were right on, especially the Barney Fife impersonation!

I keep trying to get interested in BBC America’s Any Dream Will Do, a reality show where a bunch of English chaps compete to become the star of Andrew Lloyd Weber’s musical play, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but I just can’t get into it. This, despite the show’s host being the U.K.’s gay icon Graham Norton. Maybe it’s the contestant’s pasty white skin or the lack of muscle or those dreadful accents. You’d think I’d like the program, considering I’m gay and of English heritage, but no luck. It’s all a bit strange considering I’ve had a little experience with British chaps; I once had a date with Elton John, something you can read about if I ever get my book, The Happy Campers, republished.
April 25, 2009
Jay Leno has been released from the hospital. Apparently, he simply had a mild case of dehydration. In any case, we’re glad he’s okay. At our age, anything can happen, so it’s good it wasn’t a serious ailment.

Oklahoma tornados, one of the percs of living in Tornado Alley, preempted my first half of tonight’s ABC Streisand: In Concert special, but the last half was pure pleasure. She is indeed the Queen of Torch! The last of the great living legends. Ya still got the pipes, Babs!

And what a treat Barbra had for her gay fans: Sebastien, David, Carlos, and Urs from Il Divo, the operatic quartet of handsome men brought together from different countries by Simon Cowell in 2004. Wow! Their inclusion in “Someday” was genius! What big voices they have! Their official website lists tour dates online. They are busy Il Divos, I must say!

Hey, Barbra, since I missed the first half of your concert, maybe you could send a copy to me. I could critique it for you. As a gay man, I promise to be totally unbiased!

The wor
ld is sadder today due to the passing of another living legend—Bea Author, from an unidentified form of cancer at 86. She was the first truly butch women to grace the airwaves. Not only was she deadpan funny, she was progressively enlightening! Thanks, Bea, is all I can say.

Do you believe Crown Publishing is fronting seven million dollars to George W. Bush for an upcoming hardback to be titled Decision Points? The New York Daily News says the former President promises the book will be shorter and less hefty compared to the memoirs other former presidents have written. Duh! Do they really think the poor guy can write? Of course, the man is living proof you can fool some of the people some of the time. I mean, after all, America did vote for him twice, an act that still boggles my mind. Of course, the same can be said of Richard Nixon.

April 24. 2009
As for Jay Leno’s condition, People magazine says, “No information has been released on the nature of the funnyman's ailment, but a rep for the show says he's doing just fine. 'He was kidding around with the hospital staff and running his monologue jokes by the doctors and the nurses.' According to NBC's Tracy St. Pierre, ‘He's expected back to work on Monday.’"

A new film is about to dramatically pull more gay Republicans out of the closet. Chad Griffin, a former Bill Clinton aide is the executive producer of Outrage, which will be shown Friday at the Tribeca Film Festival. Pre-screened for a limited group of media outlets on Wednesday, the film names politicians who have been the subject of rumors they are Republican hypocrites—closeted homosexuals who fight against gay rights in order to hide their own sexual orientations. The movie opens nationwide May 8.

It’s as if Barack Obama reads this column or my mind. "The days of any time, any reason rate hikes and late fee traps have to end," Obama said yesterday, regarding credit card companies’ unfair treatment of consumers. It’s too late for me, but at least he’s doing something for citizens who still carry cards. Bravo!

Is anybody else sick of hearing about Susan Boyle? And that makeover! What the hell? She looks worse than she did before they “improved” her. There’s only so much you can do with a quadruple chin! I have to admit though, when I looked her up on the Internet to make sure I spelled the name right, I ended up watching the now famous YouTube clip from Britain’s Got Talent and was wowed all over again. Then I got caught up listening to her 1999 performance of “Cry Me a River,” (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI2DxkrgpgQ) and you guessed it, I was mesmerized once more.

Speaking of makeovers, what the heck is up with Ellen Degeneres’ new look? Her hair is shorter than Obama’s. It’s as if her ears doubled in size. And why is she sporting so much makeup? Just because she does the commercials, doesn’t mean she should actually try to look like a Covergirl. Don’t take it personally, El. I still love you. You’re the funniest woman on the planet and your new look proves it!

Kudos to Meghan McCain, Republican daughter of Senator John McCain, for having the courage to state her party should endorse gay marriage. Appearing on The View as a guest host Thursday, she also said eighty-one percent of Americans under thirty are Democrats, which means the future will be inclusive, no matter what the Republicans do!

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