...........SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SAY IT! Headline Animator

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Humor with a Gay Edge

http://www.galechesterwhittington.com/somebodyneedstosayitAmerican Idol's Adam Lambert in gay kiss photo!


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. . . SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SAY IT!
by I.B. Somebody
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Rumor on a Queer Ledger
Humor with a Gay Edger
A Legend in my own Grime
===Copyright 2004-2009===
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April 23, 2009
Tonight Show host Jay Leno checked himself into the hospital today after feeling ill. His representative would not give details. Thursday’s and Friday’s tapings were cancelled, so those shows will be repeats. The genius comic will be fifty-nine next week. I'll keep you updated as the info comes in.

Wanda Sykes (Barb) finally returned to The New Adventures of Old Christine last night and she was hysterical baring her soul to therapist/friend Matthew, played with flair by Hamish Linklater.
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April 22, 2009
American Idol the results: Well, well, for the fifth time in a row I was correct about who got voted off: Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai. As for the ancient Disco queens who appeared tonight, Freda Payne (“Band of Gold”) was off tune, Harry Wayne Casey of KC and the Sunshine Band (“Get Down Tonight”) also hit some sour notes, but Thelma Houston (“Don’t Leave Me this Way”) was the one I enjoyed the most. Great to see eighteen year-old David Archuleta (“Touch My Hand”) return as a guest performer. He was my favorite last season and I still believe he should’ve won, not merely have come in second. His fan
website is up and running. It reports the loveable crooner’s new self-titled album is a big hit and that he’ll be touring this summer with Demi Lavato.
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Re: Miss USA Pageant: I was sorely disappointed with the women of The View, save Joy Behar, this morning when they said Miss California shouldn’t be judged for her “political” views against gay marriage. Would they say that if the question had been about black civil rights? I’m sorry, but prejudice is not something I want a representative of my country to carry around. We have every right to judge her lack of compassion. Saying “No offense to anyone, but I was raised to believe marriage is between one man and one woman,” doesn’t cut it. Kudos to Perez Hilton, the judge who asked the question about gay marriage and then gave Miss California a zero for her bigoted answer. And bravo to Joy Behar for saying, “You shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you.” And shame on you, Whoopie Goldberg, for not standing up for your “friends.”

The New York Times reported yesterday that approval for the US to torture came from the highest levels of the Bush Administration, including Defense Secretary
Donald H. Rumsfeld. I think we all know it came from higher than that. Namely, straight from Cheney and Bush. If the Justice Department decides to prosecute, how can they not name all three?

Tuesday’s Oprah appearance of Ted Haggard, disgraced hypocritical fundamentalist preacher who was having gay sex on the side and got caught, disgusted me. He claims to be “heterosexual with issues.” My problem with him is I have yet to hear him apologize to the gay community he repeatedly and loudly condemned and proselytized from the pulpit. There is nothing worse than someone preaching against what they themselves do. The only mention he makes of the scandal on his website is illusory. It is particularly notable for what it doesn’t say. It reads, in part, “In the fall of 2006, Ted Haggard suffered a personal and family crisis leading to his resignation.” It goes on to say numerous appearances on the talk show circuit assisted him with his “repentance,” which helped to keep his family “intact.” His poor wife, Gayle, is naïve as hell, to say the least.

That shirtless photo of President Obama on the Washingtonian magazine cover is not disrespectful and certainly not new. I’ve seen it before. It was taken by a paparazzo while Barack vacationed in Hawaii last year. What’s all the fuss about, anyway? Is there a law against getting some sun? I just have one thing to say to the President: Nice tits, man!
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April 21, 2009
Last night, Jay Leno speculated that runner-up contestant, Miss California, lost the Miss USA competition because she declared she was against gay marriage. “Apparently, she forgot who watches beauty pageants. On a related note, her publicist announced from now on, she’ll be doing her own hair and makeup.”

Now for my Disco Night American Idol top seven rundown:
*Lil Rounds sang “I’m Every Woman.” Although she never looked better and performed on tune, the presentation wasn’t exciting enough. Sorry, Lil.
*Kris Allen sang “She Works Hard for the Money.” Interesting take on a Donna Summer classic, but basically lackluster. It certainly didn’t sound disco. Maybe that’s why the judges liked it. I have to say, Kris still sports a killer smile!
*Allison Iraheta sang “Hot Stuff.” The red-headed child songstress brought new life to this Donna Summer mega hit, making it her own, fiery and raspy. Loved the leather and rhinestones! * Danny Gokey sang “September.” Earth Wind and Fire should be proud. Danny hit a home run! But somebody needs to tell him to shave and get some contacs.
*Adam Lambert sang “If I Can’t Have You.” His rendition gave me chills, baby! He has yet to have a bad performance. Will he go all the way? I say yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
*Matt Giraud sang “Stayin’ Alive.” He did a great job singing a song that could’ve been boring and cliche. Maybe the judges were right to save him last week.
*Anoop Desai sang “Dim All the Lights.” Sorry to report Anoop tanked with this Donna Summer song.
The overall winner was Donna Summer, er, I mean Adam Lambert, hands down! I begrudgingly predict Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds will be sent home tomorrow night.
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April 20, 2009
It comes as no surprise that far right Republicans are criticizing President Obama for reaching out to Cuba and Venezuela, calling the overtures “weak.” I’m sorry, but no good ever came from refusing to communicate with your so-called enemies. In fact, the opposite is true. Silence creates mistrust. Kudos to Obama for opening up new and fresh channels of dialogue.

Mario Lopez, the drop-dead gorgeous host of TV’s celebrity gossip show, Extra, is coming out with a book soon, titled Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness. The cover alone will be worth the price of the book. It showcases his shirtless, muscular chest, which proves the man knows fitness! In June of last year, Mario told People magazine he gets hit on by men, but doesn't mind: "I'm very flattered being popular in the gay community because they are a hip, cool community. They're very cutting-edge, so they like me, and I think that's great." Here’s a link to his official website: http://www.mariolopez.net/
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April 19, 2009
Funniest Line Ever: (An Audience with Joan Rivers on LOGO) “My first sexual experience was a rape. Yes, it’s true! Luckily, he didn’t press charges.”

I nearly cried when I read The New York Times piece entitled “
The Bigots’ Last Hurrah,” by columnist Frank Rich. We’ve come so far from that iconic March day in 1969 San Francisco when I was fired from my job at States Steamship Company for being openly gay. Today’s Times article talks about how the inadvertently hilarious right-wing TV ad dubbed “Gathering Storm” marks “a historic turning point in the demise of America’s anti-gay movement.” It goes on to note how several conservatives have recently changed their minds about gay marriage. For instance, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who once portrayed homosexuality as a “biological error” and a “gateway to pedophilia,” now views committed gay relationships as “a beautiful thing and a healthy thing.” Read the entire column here.

Appar
ently, Alaska in general is a lot more progressive than its compassion-deficient Governor, Sarah Palin. After it was brought to light that Wayne Anthony Ross, her appointee for state Attorney General, wrote a letter to the Bar Association Newsletter labeling homosexuals as “immoral, perverse, and degenerate,” the Alaska legislature voted to reject his confirmation. Talk about a slap in the face of bigotry! Are you listening, Sarah?
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April 18, 2009
Funniest Line Ever: (Graham Norton Show on BBC America) Self-professed straight British comedian Frank Skinner says, “Pre-op transsexuals have something for everyone. They are the Swiss Army Knife of sexual partners.”

Judging from the previews of Sunday night’s BBC Idol-like contest, Any Dream Will Do, the remaining contestants’ white, pasty skin screams that they should’ve left their clothes on. It’s a shame when a dozen or so young English men dressed in towels simply disappoints. I was hard-pressed to find a muscle among them! Don’t they work out over there?
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April 17, 2009
I checked out the new CBS show Harper’s Island last night. It reminded me of a teen slasher movie. Go ahead and watch it for the multitude of good-looking guys, as long as you don’t mind gratuitous violence and lame plots.

I finally caught the Kathy Griffin, She’ll Cut a Bitch and The A-List Awards shows and both were laugh out loud funny. Now being repeated almost daily on Bravo.
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April 16, 2009
Long an admirer of Richard Engel, NBC News Chief Foreign Correspondent, I was delighted to see him on The Daily Show promoting his book, War Journal, My Five Years in Iraq. Of particular interest was his prediction that once the United States ends its preoccupation of that country, the new government we’ve propped up will fall apart. I’ve always said we can’t be on every street corner handing out American dollars forever, the only reason the “Surge” worked. Mr. Engel also had the courage to say that our invasion of Iraq was a mistake from the beginning. All that insight and he’s eye candy, too!

Those memos released by the federal government exposing the Bush Administration’s permission for the CIA to torture terror suspects in secret prisons around the world only tells us what we already knew. Bush and Cheney believed the end justified the means, no matter how heinous. In another era, that was called Fascism. Can you say War Crimes? Kudos, by the way, to openly gay Anthony Romero, Executive Director of the
ACLU, for his long time work pushing for the release of these incriminating documents.

Funniest Line Ever: (Parks and Recreation) “Here’s a little something I learned from Karl Rove: Design your questions so that you receive the response you seek. For instance, ‘Would you rather have a park or a nuclear waste storage facility?’”
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April 15, 2009
Those so-called “tea parties” around the country designed to protest taxes made me chuckle. It’s so obvious they were orchestrated by disgruntled Republicans who lost the last election. They were actually thinly disguised statements of disapproval for Obama’s economic policies. Even ABC World News said most Americans don’t feel overtaxed. Only Fox News gave the protests any real publicity.

One of my favorite comedians, Kathy Griffin, finally has a new special on Bravo, Kathy Griffin, She’ll Cut a Bitch, to be followed by the A-List Awards, which she also hosts. Unfortunately, her show is on at the same time as American Idol. No worry, though, Bravo will repeat both over and over again, as they always do, since her stuff is always a ratings bonanza. After all, the former D-List actress is now a superstar!

You’ve got to hand it to the three hundred brave Afghan women who took to the streets to protest a new law demeaning women, which, among other things, made it legal for husbands to rape wives. The new law was signed by President Hamid Karzai, America’s so-called ally in the war against terror. So much for our policies helping to make the Middle East free . . . unless it applies to straight Islamic men only.

I must say I don’t understand why Quentin Tarantino was the mentor on American Idol this week. The man is known for making nonsensical violent movies and little else. In any case, it was great to see Jennifer Hudson as the guest artist tonight. I’ll never forget when she was voted off prematurely the year she competed. I promptly lost interest that season and stopped watching. Naturally, she had the last laugh. As they say, success is the best revenge. And she’s always credited her long-time gay fans with her achievements. That said, I could have done without the Miley Cyrus appearance. That smiley “actress” is in way too many places these days.
Well, I did it! For the fourth time in a row, I was right about who was voted off—this time, Matt Giraud. To be honest, I was never fond of his singing, so I was shocked when Simon saved his butt. I guess we’ll have to keep looking at that forehead mole for at least another week. Maybe if he put mascara on it and called it a beauty mark . . ..
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April 14, 2009
The New York Times reports a study of former prison inmates adds to evidence that stress plays a role in the development of heart disease. Duh! I could’ve told them that!

Amazon.com says they have overcome their so-called GLBT glitch and restored books with homosexual content to their search and rank files, but authors of gay erotica in my Yahoo group, HomoPromo, says it ain’t so. It appears to me that Amazon is now in the business of censorship. I recommend people buy their books from
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/. They have the same free shipping if you spend twenty-five dollars or more. And don’t forget about http://www.borders.com/. They offer free shipping on orders over forty dollars.

American Idol’s top seven:
*Allison Iraheta sang “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” Her presentation was disappointing and a little off.
*Anoop Desai sang “Everything I Do For You.” He did a good job as usual but the song was too bland for me.
*Adam Lambert sang “Born to Be Wild.” Fantastic! He tore the house down! What a range! What a statement!
*Matt Giraud sang “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?” Sorry, but the performance was lackluster and some of the notes were flat.
*Danny Gokey sang “Endless Love.” Another monotonous song.
*Kris Allen sang “Falling Slowly.” Not only was it weak, I couldn’t understand a word.
*Lil Rounds sang “The Rose.” Gotta admire her for taking on a powerful Bette Midler song but she made it her own. Bravo!
The big winner of the evening was Adam Lambert and I’m not just saying that because he’s gay. I predict Matt Giraud will go home tomorrow night.
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April 13, 2009
Funniest Line Ever: (How I Met Your Mother) Robin on banging Ted’s handsome assistant: “You leave a big chocolate cake on the counter, Mama’s gonna cut herself a slice!”

Another Funniest Line Ever: (Two and a Half Men) After Alan brags about getting a self-winding Rolex, Charlie responds, “Put it on your right arm and it will run forever!”

Good for President Obama! He just lifted restrictions on how often Americans can visit their relatives in Cuba and how much money they can send them. Plus he ended the communications embargo regarding cell phones, satellite communications, and the Internet. It’s way past time we moved out of the Cold War and into the twenty-first century.

NBC Nightly News reports more people than ever are panning for gold in California, although most make less than one hundred dollars a day. But, hey, in this economy, it’s all good!

With
Goldman Sachs now posting a $1.8 billion profit, could it be Obama’s economic policies are beginning to work? You bet your sweet bippy!

Katie Couric will receive the Walter Cronkite Excellence in Television Political Journalism Award for her notorious 2008 Sarah Palin interview which exposed Palin’s lack of competence. Well deserved, I must say! In fact, that interview gave me a new respect for Katie as a serious news anchor.

Amazon.com is currently embroiled in a fiery feud with the LGBT community. In a special statement posted on their website, Christopher Rice of the Lambda Literary Foundation said Amazon is blaming the removal of gay books from their search engine on a glitch. “Publishers Weekly reported author Mark Probst as saying, ‘Whatever the cause, titles like James Baldwin's Giovanni's Room and Annie Proulx's Brokeback Mountain are among those that have lost their sales ranking.’" I received a response from Amazon’s Customer Complaint Department concerning an email I sent. Their explanation: “This is an embarrassing and ham-fisted cataloging error for a company that prides itself on offering complete selection. It has been misreported that the issue was limited to Gay & Lesbian themed titles - in fact, it impacted 57,310 books in a number of broad categories such as Health, Mind & Body, Reproductive & Sexual Medicine, and Erotica.” Amazon went on to say it was fixing the problem one book at a time. One book at a time? Something smells fishy! It sounds to me like they were (are?) trying to censor their list.
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April 11, 2009
I’m ready to start a campaign to rid the world of those bulky Skechers shoes! Because of a huge advertising budget, the damned things are showing up everywhere. Unfortunately, they happen to be the ugliest shoes in the universe! Repeat after me! Skechers are a fashion fopaux!

Happily, tonight, the local NBC affiliate ran the Parks and Recreation and Southland debuts that were preempted during the horrible Oklahoma wildfires earlier in the week. The comedy “mockumentory” Parks and Recreation stars Saturday Night Live alumni Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope and she does a stellar job keeping a straight face. Five stars! I like it even better than the Office, which was created by the same people. The premier episode of the new drama, Southland, was about a day patrolling the streets with good-looking Ben McKenzie, who plays rookie cop Ben Sherman. He can pat me down any day, anytime! You may remember him as Ryan Atwood in The O.C. It’s amazing what a good uniform can do for hotness!

30 Rock was hilarious, as usual, as well as topical. The keyword for the frenzied episode was cutbacks. And, naturally, disaster!

What the hell is going on at ABC? They ran a 1956 movie, The Ten Commandments, starring Charllton Heston and Yul Brynner, for nearly five primetime hours tonight. Are things so bad financially they can’t afford new shows on a premium Saturday?

Concerning the problems with the economy, I’d like to address a big dilemma that Obama and Congress appear to be ignoring. There’s a reason most people aren’t spending money. It’s because credit card companies have systematically destroyed customers’ credit by reducing their cardholder limits to the amount they’ve already charged. This has screwed up credit scores because the numbers are determined partly by how much available credit is not being used. When you have no credit left it makes you look desperate. I know this happened because they did it to me, even though I’d never been late on my payments. The New York Times reported that these cuts, by literally all the major credit card banks, exceeded two trillion dollars. I’d planned to live on my credit for another year, after which I was going to come into some money and pay them off. Because they screwed me over, I was forced to file bankruptcy. That end result caused a Catch 22 and the credit card companies were left holding their just deserts. So, until the day banks reinstate credit to their customers, people will not spend and therefore will not help heal the economy. Why aren’t the so-called experts addressing this predicament?

Speaking of the economy, I’m afraid things are only going to get worse, at least for some time. I predict riots in the streets and looting in the cities and not just in the USA. Worldwide! That’s what happens when people starve. I hate to be so grim, but sometimes reality ain’t pretty.

Although MTV’s new black teenage reality show (also playing on LOGO), Taking the Stage, has been garnering warm reviews, it irritates the hell out of me. Supposedly, only one of the stars is gay, Malik (the dancer-choreographer), but all the guys appear to be pretending they’re straight for the camera, when my gaydar tells me the opposite is true! Come on! The show is about dancing and reality. Give me a break!
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April 10, 2009
It’s damned near official! American Idol's Adam Lambert is gay as a goose! Check out these additional mind-blowing photos on the ‘net:
http://dannation.org/2009/03/03/adam-lambert-is/ Because of his huge talent, I don’t think it’ll make one bit of difference, as regards his chances on American Idol. I hereby predict he’ll win this year’s contest hands down!

Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire on Comedy Central debuted last night and I’m happy to report it was funny as hell, although the sex jokes almost went too far, if that’s even possible. It has nearly everything—a token black, a token gay, a token woman, etc., all stereotyped. And the main male star (Sean Maguire) is cute as any leading actor! The comedy channel is obviously very proud, as they repeated the show several times, leading into the wee hours of the morning.
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April 9, 2009
I’m currently rethinking my previous decision to self-publish my books, at least for now. I recently came across the websites of several independent, gay-friendly presses and have started sending out queries. I feel like a have a real shot this time around, mainly because of all the good reviews, accolades, and awards I’ve received over the last several years. Plus, since my recent near death episode with walking pneumonia, I’ve developed a new self-confidence and vigor in promoting my works. After two years of being unable to write, I’m now experiencing a wave of energy. During recent edits of old material, my stories have surprised even myself. I have to say it, mainly because l’ve learned you have to toot your own horn. I have produced some literary masterpieces over the last nine years! Every day, I write new material and polish the old. It’s like I’m driven. It feels like I’m channeling Tennessee Williams! How’s that for Delusions of Grandeur (the title of a new book I’m currently writing, by the way)?

Anybody else see Comedy Central’s Colbert Report night before last? It was hilarious and heart-warming! Beautiful and intelligent Queen Noor of Jordan knighted Stephen in exchange for his signature on a “Global Zero” pledge to ban nuclear weapons within the Colbert Nation. Bravo!

Unfortunately, coverage of numerous tragic Oklahoma fires preempted the new network shows I wanted to cover, so I’ll get back to you on those next week.
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April 8, 2009
It was fun to see Frankie Avalon make a surprise visit on American Idol. He sang his ancient hit “Venus” and looked great, obviously fresh from a recent visit to the plastic surgeon. Nobody that old could look that good without it, don’t ya know!
For the third time in a row, I was right about who got the least votes—Scott MacIntyre. I like the guy but I’m afraid he butchered one of my favorite ballads, twice, tonight and last night—“The Search is Over.” The judges were correct not to “save” him. But the vision impaired community should be proud; he has been and is a great role model!

The New Adventures of Old Christine proved to be hilarious when Old Christine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) spread lice throughout her kid’s school community. When she decided to put Richie in public school to get away from the snobs, the boy got rejected when the principal discovered she and her family members were lice “carriers.” Can you imagine? Being rejected by a public school? And where the hell is Wanda Sykes? This is at least the second episode in a row she hasn’t been around. Is she going to be devoting full time to her upcoming Saturday night talk show on Fox Broadcasting? I couldn’t find anything about her absence on the Internet.

After Idol last night, I sacrificed watching cutie Simon Baker in CBS’s The Mentalist to check out Fox’s Fringe, just to see what it was about. It wasn’t worth it. The episode, about a serial killer and a weird child who grew up alone in an isolated locked building, eating insects, was just plain unbelievable.
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April 7, 2009
Great news! Vermont now joins Iowa, Massachusetts, and Connecticut in legalizing gay marriage! Lawmakers voted today to override a veto by the governor and join the twenty-first century. This makes Vermont the first state to legalize gay marriage with a legislative vote rather than a court ruling.
“The House recorded a dramatic 100-49 vote — the minimum needed — to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto. Its vote followed a much easier override vote in the Senate, which rebuffed the Republican governor with a vote of 23-5,” USA Today reported. “Yesterday, Douglas issued a veto message saying the bill would not improve the lot of gay and lesbian couples because it still would not provide them rights under federal and other states' laws.” Talk about screwed up rationalization!

Here’s my take on the final eight of American Idol:
*Danny Gokey sang “Stand By Me.” He hit a couple of sour notes and the performance was basically lackluster.
*Kris Allen sang “All She Wants to Do is Dance.” He still has that killer smile! Good performance but I was a little disappointed in the lack of intensity. Somebody needs to tell him to stop licking his lips.
*Lil Rounds sang “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” Sorry, but she couldn’t compete with Tina Turner. The singing was bland. On the plus side, Lil never looked better. Unfortunately, the performance may have been her death knoll.
*Anoop Desai sang “True Colors.” He still has those huge brown eyes! Anoop took Cyndi Lauper’s gay anthem and made it into an original. Great!
Scott MacIntyre sang “The Search is Over.” Mostly, he did a good job but those few bad notes bugged the hell out of me.
*Allison Iraheta sang “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” The flaming sixteen year-old redhead took the theme song to my life and nailed it! But that dress and that hair do! Sorry, they were trying too damned hard!
*Matt Giraud sang “Part Time Lover.” Sizzling performance! But what was up with that stupid hat? It looked like he was trying to be Frank Sinatra. I guess somebody forgot to tell him it was a Stevie Wonder song.
*Adam Lambert sang “Mad World.” Ever notice how they always try to save the best for last? Superb performance but the ending was a little weak.
In my humble opinion, the winner of the evening was redhead Allison Iraheta. I predict the one to leave tomorrow night will be Scott MacIntyre.

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April 6, 2009
I’m furious! Most of my favorite Monday night CBS comedies (How I Met Your Mother, Rules of Engagement, Two and a Half Men, and Big Bang Theory) were preempted by college basketball. When are the networks going to realize the whole world is not in love with sports?

Another thing: The entire universe is not in love with Mylie Cyrus. I’m so sick of seeing her toothy smile I could gag. The fifteen year-old “Christian sensation” is all over the place. And does she have to drag her has-been daddy with her everywhere?

I checked out ABC’s Surviving Suburbia. Stars Bob Saget (Full House) and Cynthia Stevenson (Men in Trees) were good, but Dan Cortese (Veronica’s Closet) as the hunky neighbor is the one who got my attention. The show was funny but not hilarious.
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April 5, 2009
Are you ready for Andy Schneider, the
Chicken Whisperer? Dressed in denim coveralls, the self-professed “backyard chicken” expert, appears to be taking the country world by storm. He’s got blogs on Twitter, My Space, the Farmers’ Almanac, Blogspot, and Grit Magazine, plus a weekly radio show called Backyard Poultry with the Chicken Whisperer.

In related news, MSNBC reports the Center for Mind/Brain Sciences at the University of Trento in Italy has proven that “chickens are smart.” In part, the
study states, “To get them accustomed to the experiment objects, the scientists reared the chicks with five yellow toy balls, which the baby chickens accepted as members of their own family.” How intelligent can they be if they think balls are other baby chicks?

Considering country music’s long-standing reputation for homophobia, I didn’t think Reba McEntire’s crack on the 44th Academy of Country Music Awards about Elton John was funny at all. She said something about George Strait and Elton John and then had the audacity to say she never thought she’d use the word “straight in a sentence with Elton John.” I turned the channel to Desperate Housewives, a much more entertaining show, even if it was a repeat. Last year—or was it the year before?—McEntire trashed the Dixie Chicks, so I’ve just about had it with the cross-eyed host.

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April 4, 2009
The New York Times reports the “White House disclosed Friday in releasing financial information about top officials, Lawrence H. Summers, the top economic adviser to President Obama, earned more than $5 million last year from the hedge fund D. E. Shaw and collected $2.7 million in speaking fees from Wall Street companies that received government bailout money.” Of course, that was before Obama hired him. All I have to say is no wonder all these firms are going down, paying outrageous fees in the hundreds of thousands just to hear people give speeches. Waste such as this is systemic to all these companies. Doesn’t anybody else get it?

As for all that talk about the audacity of First Lady Michelle Obama touching the Queen of England by wrapping an arm around her waist, give me a break! What is this, the Dark Ages? Anyway, it looked to me like the Queen touched Michelle first. But does it really matter? No!

I finally watched BBC’s Ashes to Ashes to see what all the fuss is about. That and the fact that tonight’s episode promised a gay theme. I found the heavy English accents entirely muffled any clue to what was going on. Despite the captions displayed on the screen for the purposely unlikeable DCI (?) Gene Hunt, played by portly Philip Glenister, it wasn’t enough. They should have done that for the entire cast. Anyway, I looked the series up on the Internet where I found out that the main star, psychological profiler Alex Drake, well-played by Keeley Hawes, finds herself transported back to 1981, where she works as a crime investigator. Time travel is so yesterday! The promos claim the show is number one, but they don’t say where or in what way. For me, it’s the number one program I won’t be watching again.

Teen heartthrob Zac Efron, star of the High School Musical trilogy and the upcoming Seventeen Again, appeared on the BBC’s Saturday night Graham Norton Show, and it turned out to be a hoot! Zac was a good sport, which was no surprise. Not too long ago, when told about gay rumors, he remarked, “If that’s all they can say about me, I’m in good shape!”

The only positive news about Fox cancelling Mad TV turns out to be the announcement of its replacement. I’m absolutely thrilled that Wanda Sykes will be hosting a talk show in its timeslot. She’s my very favorite gay black female comic on the planet! And yes, there are several in existence!
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April 3, 2009
People magazine reports that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is livid with Levi Johnston, the 18-year-old father of her daughter's baby, for appearing on The Tyra Banks Show, where he said he was pretty sure Gov. Palin knew he and Bristol were having sex. Sarah Palin also stated, "Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence.” A little late, don’t you think? And what kind of name is Tripp, anyway? I mean, what does Bristol think this is, the sixties?

I tried to watch Fox’s Dollhouse again, but gave up after ten minutes, unable to make heads or tails of the strange show. Instead, I watched Animal Planet’s Escape to Chimp Eden. It turned out to be scary stuff when one of the older chimps nearly died from a bad reaction to tranquilizers.
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April 2, 2009
Well, they finally did it. The feds indicted Former Illinois Governor “Hot Rod” Blagojevich today for corruption on sixteen felony counts. They also nabbed his brother, two aids, and two businessmen acquaintances. He still has his six figure book deal, but that’ll hardly make a dent in his legal bill. I guess that’s it for politics’ bad boy. We’ll have to wait and see if he can somehow make money off of the sure-to-come movie!

365 Gay News on LOGO reports that over 13,000 gays have been thrown out of the military under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. As for changing the law, Defense Secretary Gates reported that, within the reigning administration, “That dialogue has not really progressed very far.” He then cited the priority of the economy, the wars, etc. Meanwhile, gay and lesbians lives continue to be destroyed.

I finally watched the new ABC series In the Motherhood with Megan Mullally (Will and Grace), as Rosemary. In tonight’s episode, she wreaked havoc trying to unionize the nannies. Even though some of the jokes were convoluted, in that they didn’t make sense, for the most part the show was amusing and well-written. I’ll watch again!
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April 1, 2009
Once again, I was right about who was going home on American Idol—Megan. But I must say I was shocked that Anoop was next in line. And once again I thought the judges were unnecessarily cruel. I mean telling Megan they weren’t even going to consider saving her before she “sang for her life” was downright mean.

Well, I tried to watch ABC’s new show Better Off Ted starring Ellen Degeneres’s beautiful wife, Portia DeRossi, but confess I had to switch back to CBS’s I Get That a Lot just to see muscular Mario Lopez selling hot dogs in a tight tank top. Now I can die ‘cause I’m been to Heaven! Unfortunately, neither show was that good, I’m sorry to say.

Anybody else notice how Adam Lambert of American Idol seems to be morphing into an Elvis Presley look-a-like? It's okay; he looks good no matter if he wears his hair up or all over the place!

According to Rod of the always informative Rod 2.0 website,
http://rodonline.typepad.com/, Obama plans to delay the destruction of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell law until next year at the earliest. In the meantime, fine upstanding gays are being discharged and humiliated at the same rate as they were under the previous commander in chief. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am.
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March 31, 2009
According to Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, The Obama Administration wants to change the name of the War on Terror to Overseas Contingencies Operations. I suggest the Democrats don’t play that game; it’s too reminiscent of the Bush Regime.

What a train wreck the new Fox show, Osbournes: Reloaded, was! I haven’t seen anything that juvenile since President Bush dressed up in a jumpsuit and declared, “Mission Accomplished.” And what the hell was that white stuff Ozzie sprayed all over everyone at the end?

As for the premiere of Cupid, Bobby Cannavale, who played Will's cop boyfriend on Will & Grace was good as Trevor, aka Cupid. The show was kind of fun, but the jury in my brain is still out. Cute but sappy.

American Idol was mostly dull but for the fantastic performances of Anoop Desai (“Caught Up”), Chris Allen (“Ain’t No Sunshine”), and Adam Lambert (“Play that Funky Music”). But did the judges have to be so cruel to Lil Rounds (“I Surrender”)? They had her in tears. Overall, the winner was—it’s a tie—Chris and Adam. The person I predict will leave tomorrow night is Megan Joy (“Turn Your Lights Down Low”).
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March 30, 2009
Self Publishing Update: I’ve been researching POD (Publish on Demand) companies, such as Booksurge, Lulu, and Booklocker and am becoming increasingly confused. Some only sell your book through Amazon.com, while the ones that list you with Ingram, the brick bookstore distributor, are fighting with Amazon. Others set the retail price too high. If anyone who reads this has had recent experience with POD companies please send me an
email and tell me all about it.

God save us all from Glen Beck! Just when I was thanking my lucky stars that the mad television commentator was no longer screaming at us from CNN, I read in The New York Times that he now hosts the five o’clock spot on Fox News—still spouting hysterical “truths,” such as that America is “on the road to socialism” and that “God and religion are under attack in the U.S.” thanks to Obama. He recently wondered aloud whether FEMA was setting up concentration camps, calling it a rumor that he was unable to debunk. I’m sorry, but that’s going too far, even for the over the top right wing Fox News, where they still claim to be “fair and balanced.”
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March 29, 2009
Seeing Host Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) dressed up in drag like Miley Cyrus on the Kids Choice Awards Saturday night made me want to throw up . . . and that was because he looked just like her!

I joined Twitter at the urging of a writer friend/teacher, Carol Johnson (
http://www.caroljohnson.net/), author of the epic novel, Everlasting, but I still don’t get what the fuss is all about. I mean, there are already plenty of ways to answer the question, “What are you doing?” I think people just enjoy using the word “twitter” in a sentence, as if it makes them cool. Anyway, I’m all in a twitter over it.

BBC’s Any Dream Will Do confirms my suspicions that England now has a shortage of good-looking men who can sing. I mean, where the hell did they come up with that many amateurs who resemble Camilla Parker Bowles and sound like Rosanne Barr? I’m allowed to disparage Great Britain, you know, what with my name (Whittington) and all. I do have to admit that some of the final twelve, who get a spot starring in the play, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, are actually kind of cute.

Good-looking, openly gay singer/actor John Barrowman, star of last season’s hit BBC series, Torchwood, where he plays bisexual Captain Jack Harkness, seems at first glance to contradict the above generalization about the British until we learn he was born in Glasgow, Scotland and grew up in Chicago. His special show on BBC Sunday night explored the reason people are gay and it proved to be interesting indeed. The Making of Me, John Barrowman concluded that biological factors are most likely the reason for sexual orientation. As for his availability, sorry, guys, but he’s been happily married to handsome architect Scott Gill for sixteen years.
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March 28, 2009
Fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race on Logo, the gay channel, will be happy to know the reality series has been picked up for a second season and will hit the small screen again in early 2010. If you fashion yourself to be a super diva with a penchant for too much makeup, go to
http://www.rupaulsdragrace.com/ (which will automatically reroute you to the Drag Race page on http://www.logoonline.com/)to find out when and where they’ll be hosting the tryouts. The info is not yet posted, but will be soon, according to RuPaul.

Give me a break! Tabloid reports that Octo-Mom used to be a stripper are highly exaggerated. She did it for one night and then quit after finding out she’d have to give lap dances. Leave the poor woman alone! Take me, for example. I was a call boy in 1969 San Francisco for two weeks, until I discovered I’d have to boink or be boinked by the clients! Does that make me a whore? Well, not anymore, at least. It’s hard to be a slut when you can’t give it away!
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March 27, 2009
Funniest Line Ever: On 30 Rock (the best comedy on TV) last night. Dennis, Liz’s ex, on why he had sex with Jenna: “We were pretty torn up about Hurricane Katrina. What those people were doing to the Super Bowl made me crazy.”
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For the third Friday in a row, I’ve been forced to watch Friday Night Lights because of a basket ball game on one channel and Super Nanny, which I hate, on the other network station. I have to say, Friday Night Lights is pretty much unbelievable, what with a coach (Kyle Chandler) who foregoes a network interview for a romantic hotel get-away with his wife and a quarterback (Jeremy Sumpter) who, though cute, is small and sports no muscle whatsoever. It’s no surprise that the kid played Peter Pan in the 2003 movie of the same name.

Justin Timberlake debuted his new collaborative clothing line on Oprah Friday. The mind-boggling name on the label? William Rast. It's supposed to represent a cigarette-smoking alter ego of his. In my mind that seems stupid, when he has star power he could harness. Oh, well. I didn’t much care for the apparel anyway. It was mostly dull. $158 for a pair of jeans that look like every other jean? Forget it!
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March 26, 2009 again
Well, I was right! Michael Sarver lost on American Idol. And correctly so, the judges refused to save him. He gets to go on tour with the Top Ten, so he still wins.

As for that duet Josh Stone had with Smokey Robinson, he rocked. She, not so much. The raspy voiced singer needs a better coach or something. I still say she’s a rich man’s Janis Joplin and that’s not necessarily a good thing.

Stevie Wonder is no longer little. Did you see the size of his butt from the back shots? He still sings like a canary, though. Great medley of his hits!
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March 26, 2009
Is anyone else sick of all those commercials touting the wonders of products that don’t work? From penile enhancements to sonic pest chasers. There used to be a time when false advertising wasn’t allowed. Then under the Bush Administration it seems to have flourished. I hope Obama prods the FDA or whoever is supposed to be in charge. They need to put a stop to it . . . right after the economy is fixed, of course.

I predict Michael Sarver will be the one to leave American Idol tonight. I’ll post again after the show to discuss it.
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March 25, 2009
Here’s my take on the final top ten American Idol contestants:
*Kris Allen sang “How Sweet it Is” The good-looking guy with the killer smile nailed it!
*Matt Giraud sang “Let’s Get it On” Okay but I can’t help thinking he looks and sounds like a poor man’s Michael Blueble.
*Scott MacIntyre sang “You Can’t Hurry Love” The curly-haired blind guy was good but not good enough.
*Lil Rounds sang “Heatwave” I hated the dress and the vocal was disappointing.
*Megan Joy sang “For Once in my Life” She sounded better when she had the flu!
*Anoop Desai sang “Ooh Baby Baby” It was pure pleasure to gaze at his exotic good looks and
those huge dark eyes as he crooned with that big voice. Loved it!
*Michael Sarver sang “Please Don’t Leave Me” The chunky singer was lackluster. Period.
*Adam Lambert sang “Tracks of my Tears” I loved the suit and the slicked back Elvis hair. His performance was good but there was too much falsetto for me.
*Danny Gokey sang “Get Ready” Sorry, I didn’t care for it.
*Allison Iraheta sang “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” The red-head’s presentation was okay but not exciting for me.
The over-all winner was Kris Allen!

What’s all the fuss about with another silly vampire movie, Twilight? I find nothing erotic about sucking blood. It’s a tiresome subject, done to death. Even Anne Rice stopped writing about it.
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March 24, 2009
Okay, Obama, you know I love you but did you have to preempt American Idol again? I admire your transparency but don’t you think you’re over doing it a bit? You’re everywhere!

Because many publishers are going under or are cutting back because of the financial meltdown, I’ve made a decision to self-publish the five books I’ve completed. Soon, I’ll be getting a little back pay from Social Security Disability and will then begin the process. I have sent one more query to City Lights Publishing regarding BEYOND NORMAL: The Birth of Gay Pride. They were always my wanta-be publisher of choice, partly because they’re located in San Francisco and partly because of their reputation for printing books by quality rogue authors. Wish me luck! In any case, it’ll probably take six months to a year to get the ball rolling on the self-publishing thing. I’ll keep you informed.

Sorry to hear about Lance Armstrong breaking his right collarbone while preparing for another entry into the Tour de France. But, man, how many awards do you need for the same thing? Give it a rest and let somebody else bask in the glory!
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March 23, 2009
Kudos to fiery Swoosie Kurtz for her head-on portrayal of a lonely lesbian on last week’s Desperate Housewives. She just keeps getting better with age.

I googled myself yesterday and the results came back with this insulting question: “Did you mean Dale Whittington?” What the hell happened? I was supposed to be famous by now!
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March 22, 2009
I’m sick and tired of hearing about AIG. I suggest the CEO do what he should’ve done from the beginning: demand the return of the bonuses and get this unfortunate chapter behind us.

Can somebody tell me why Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple Computer, is on Dancing with the Stars? He has no rhythm and he certainly doesn’t qualify as eye candy. What the hell were you thinking when you dated him, Kathy Griffin? He’s not even gay . . . or famous, really. Tell me it wasn’t because of the money. Tell me it ain’t so, Kathy!

Just as I was preparing to watch The Honeymen Tribe on the Travel Channel, a disclaimer came on warning the viewer about “indigenous nudity.” Well, I’ll have you know I watched the entire thing and never found any naked natives whatsoever. Talk about false advertising!

March 20, 2000
Funniest Line Ever: Charo (real name: María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza) on RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo channel): “Is important to spoon because spooning leads to forking!”

Pope Benedict’s statement that condoms have made the HIV problem worse shows how out of touch the Catholic Church is with reality. Not only is the staid Roman religion responsible for encouraging the spread of AIDS by way of its ignorance, their addition to the overcrowding of the world is legendary. This is not the time nor place to discourage birth control and/or disease prevention.

Am I the only one who hates that Howie Does It program? It’s like a one-joke show. I mean, how many times can you laugh when Howie Mandel takes off his stupid wig and freaks out the mark? Boring! Cancel the damned thing, already!

Not sure I like the “cool” new slang Randy tried to debut on American Idol this week by calling a good performance “dope.” Maybe if it were “dope without the side effects.”
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March 18, 2009
Enough with those stupid “Snuggies.” They are all over the place, from talk show audiences (Oprah, Jimmy Fallon, Ellen, etc.) to car dealership ads. Maybe they were funny at first, but now they’re just plain lame.

I almost laughed when the CEO of AIG told Congress he asked employees who received bonuses to please return half. The man is daft if he thinks we are going to let any of them keep even one dollar of those bloody bonuses!

I love that new Taco Bell commercial where a guy in drag sneaks nachos into a football game under maternity clothes. Hilarious!

What the hell happened to the New Adventures of Old Christine Wednesday night? There was no Wanda Sykes and no mention of why not. The show is not nearly as funny without her.

American Idol ended badly Wednesday night. After the judges told Alexis, who sang “Joline,” they were thinking about saving her, they shot her down. How cruel! But I guess I’ll keep watching as long as Kris, Lil, and Adam remain contenders for the big prize.

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March 15, 2009
I tried writing erotica but there’s not much market for sixty-second stories.

That $165 million in bonuses AIG says it’s “contractually bound” to give its executives is bullshit! So is Obama’s statement that nothing can be done to prevent it. I suggest the Administration put a retroactive stop payment on the check the government wrote to AIG for $170 billion. The whole world should demand an immediate reversal of this outrageous and unacceptable decision. Unbelievable!

Is it just me or is Dancing With the Stars boring this season? The only guy worth watching is Gilles Marini, that Frenchman who looks like the epitome of the Latin lover, even though he’s not Hispanic. He’s hot!

American Idol is another story. Lil and Adam’s voices really excite me, as do a couple of others. Lots of great soul in the lineup this year!

Looks like I’m finally going to get Social Security disability. The amount is more than I expected, but is still not enough to live on. Guess I’ll have to give up my dream of having plastic surgery to look like Nadya Suleman, Octo-Mom!

Would somebody tell still clueless Dick Cheney to shut up? He told CNN Obama has made America less safe. I think we all know Cheney and the Bush Administration were responsible for making America hated the world over. And that certainly does not improve America’s security, does it? Why the hell isn’t the Fascist minded Cheney in prison for war crimes anyway?

December 20, 2008
Hooray for “Hot Rod” Blagojevich, vowing to fight to the end! I loved it! I fully expected him to break out singing that Dream Girls/Jennifer Hudson anthem, “And I’m telling you, I’m not going . . .”
I think the evidence the prosecutors have is sparse and shoddy, probably taken out of context. It looks to me like a Republican thing, if you get my drift.

December 13, 2008
I hate the holidays! The problem with Christmas is it reminds me of what I used to think was true love. I used to feed on the energy of being loved, before I stopped being considered and my motivation shut down. I must feed directly on the source. Okay, now I’m beginning to scare myself! Repeat after me, “Love isn’t real; it’s a fat lie!” Feel better? I do!

I’ve got the good old summertime blues, the kind you get when you’ve been used.

December 8, 2008
Since Obama is for change, let’s hope he changes his mind about gay marriage. I’m very impressed by his efforts to prepare for the office. He delved right in even though he’s not yet in power. Most people would’ve taken a vacation.

I’m so gay, my pubes have highlights!

I wonder what size shoe Obama wears, if you know what I mean!

September 20, 2008
Hey, Everybody, I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaack, again! I’ve had more comebacks than Cher! Anyway, I hope to talk more about politics this time around, like I used to. Politicians are a lot more interesting than other celebrities. Probably because they are more important to the world spectrum.

I must say I’m still for Obama, but a little bit disappointed by a couple of things. One is his eagerness to send additional troops into Afghanistan. The other is how much of a master politician he actually has become. But I keep telling myself that once he’s elected he’ll do all the right things.

As far as the economy goes, my finances have been in the dumpster for several years now, but what’s going on now scares even me. Especially after I figured out that the 700 billion Congress is going to approve will be a green light to the Administration (I use the term loosely) to simply print more money. Once upon a time, our economy was based on gold. No more. Now it’s simply based upon paper and ink. And that’s the most frightening thing of all. I predict a depression ten times worse the original Depression in the thirties.

I’m still looking for publishers for my works. My deal for BEYOND NORMAL: The Birth of Gay Pride fell through with Haworth Books, after Vern Bullough (author of Before Stonewall), the editor they assigned me, suddenly died. Although he turned my manuscript in just before he passed, the Haworth Book company was sold in three sections. The new owners of the GLBT division decided to stay with text-book type manuscripts and since mine was “creative nonfiction,” they declined to pursue my book. When that happened, I was thrown for a loop and have been unable to write for two years now. I think I’m ready to get back into it. Wish me luck!


July 9, 2008
Funniest Joke Ever: Al Roker on Celebrity Family Feud last night (Tuesday): “He was only a gardener, but he knew how to plant his tulips!”

June 1, 2008
I’ve been busy posting so many flower photos on my other website that I keep forgetting to update this page. Check out the latest pics here:
http://www.freefishcaretips.com/

Poor David Archuleta; he lost by one. Maybe it’s for the best. He’s awfully young to be a superstar. But he can still make it big, if that’s truly what he wants and not just what his father wants.

My flowers are not blooming as heavily now, so I’ll have more time to post here. Don’t get me wrong. There are a lot more blossoms to come, in their own time. Like Daylilies, Oriental Lilies, altheas, and more!

May 7, 2008
David Archuleta came through with both of his songs, so I’m rooting for him to go all the way. Go get ‘em, David!

May 6, 2008
Funniest Line Ever: “Love makes everyone a little gay.” Two and a Half Men, from the mother, Monday night.

Gotta love Sunday night’s ending of Brothers and Sisters. There’s going to be a big gay wedding!

Jeeeesus! I saw Tony Curtis on The Graham Norton Show (BBCAmerica channel) Sunday night. He has huge cheeks and stretched eyebrows, plus he’s bald and severely overweight. He looked like he was wearing a latex mask. The man inside was still the same, however—talented and funny!

Good News! Masturbation prevents prostrate cancer! It’s been all over the news. I hate to tell you I told you so, Mother, but I’m telling you now! I’m gonna live to be 200!


April 26, 2008
Now that Carly Smithson and others have left American Idol, I’m back to rooting for my original fave, David Archuleta. He’s only seventeen and cute as a button. Don’t you think he looks kind of like the Mad TV ikon, “What Me Worry?” only 100 times cuter? I wonder if anyone has told him he’s gay. You heard me. My Gaydar is off the charts and I can’t wait for him to come out!

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