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Sunday, September 13, 2009


September 13, 2009.
Betty Bowers, long known as America’s Best Christian, continually explores what constitutes a Bible-based marriage. “Remember, only the family that lays and slays together stays together,” she states in her award-winning video, Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else, which can be viewed in its entirety at the bottom of this post, along with her acceptance speech for “Most Humorous YouTube Video of 2009.” In a bonus clip, you get to watch her debate the always-good-for-a-laugh Sarah Palin, the ex-politician.

Video photo of Betty Bowers talking about the immorality of gay marriage, while expounding on the sanctity of incest and rape, as glorified in the Old Testament
According to Wikipedia, Betty Bowers is the name of the fictional central character on the satirical website BettyBowers.com, who is currently portrayed by voice actor and comedienne Deven Green, appearing both in photographs and numerous satirical videos.

Jesus-sanctified photograph of Betty Bowers with the sun growing out of her head

Via the Betty Bowers website, the character makes satirical statements regarding the Religious Right, homosexuality and gay equality, the controversy over creationism, dogmatic fundamentalism, and the Republican Party.

Patriotic photo of Betty Bowers, always looking Heaven-ward

The content of the website and her "newsletters" varies; sometimes the satire is a tongue-in-cheek spoof of its intended target, whereas other pieces have content that hits the hypocrites directly in the groin.

Photo of Deven Green, the actress/comedienne who portrays Betty Bowers, supporting the No H8 Campaign against Prop 8. Deven, who often judges drag queen contests, is part of the married comedy duo Deven & Joel. Check out her website for more info and lots of funny quips.

Bowers also has written several movie reviews, most notably for Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, Hannibal and The Passion of the Christ. She claims Harry Potter is a "one-way ticket to hell," and that it is a terrible movie due to its depiction of witchcraft, while commenting that Hannibal is a wonderful depiction of God's true nature and that The Passion of the Christ is a great family film.

The BettyBowers.com website was kind enough to share this photo of Jerry Falwell's headstone with us. The inscription reads "At Last This Horror Story Has a Plot"

The character, as well as the content of http://www.bettybowers.com/, was created by Paul A. Bradley, who is also one of the lead writers for the websites LandoverBaptist.org (a parody site concerning religion) and Whitehouse.org.

Photo of Betty Bowers poster "Have you accepted Jesus as your personal shopper?" available for $15.99 from http://www.bettybowers.com/

Bradley is the sole writer of all material on the Betty Bowers site, as well as the author of What Would Betty Do? (Simon & Schuster 2002), based on the same character. Bradley was also a co-author of The White House Employee Handbook (Penguin 2004) and Welcome to Jesusland! (formerly the United States of America) (Time Warner 2006). The character Betty Bowers appears in all three of these books.

Photo of the cover of the book, What Would Betty Do? available from Amazon.com for $10.80

Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian™, is a founding member of the Ladies of Landover Baptist Church and is consistently Landover's most reliable financial supporter. Her religious calling led Mrs. Bowers to establish her first Christian enterprise Mrs. Betty Bowers Christian Crackwhore Ministry. "As soon as I realized how much cash these industrious little tramps were dealing in, it wasn't long before I introduced them to the one thing that could save their sullied souls—tithing."

Photo of button "I gave my love to Jesus and now He never calls!" available for $3.49 from http://www.bettybowers.com/

Mrs. Bowers Christian Crackwhore Ministry was an instant success, leading to franchises in all 50 states (except Nevada). Mrs. Betty Bowers Ministries Holdings has complete ownership of its privately-held subsidiaries, which include: Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers (BITCH), Saving Love Until The Sacrament (SLUTS), Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals (BASH), Femininity Rescues All Unladylike Dykes (FRAUD), Traditional-families Raging Against Sluts & Homos (TRASH), and Christian Religious Ideas Molding Education (CRIME).

Photo of the Betty Bowers book cover of Welcome to Jesus Land, which can be purchased from Amazon for $17.99

Betty claims BASH is America’s most successful Ex-Gay Ministry. “(We’ve) saved almost one soul out of over 150,000 dues-paying members! Praise! Be a man, girl!”

Betty Bowers bumper sticker "Support our Gay Troups which you can buy for $3.99 from www.bettybowers.com

On her Blog, Betty Bowers, 50, recently wrote this little gem:

June 27, 2009 Betty Bowers Post: It’s Rebuke a Gay Weekend! Glory!
“Jesus just told me, with suspicious cheerfulness, that it is so-called “Gay Pride” this weekend. Since God created me in His image, I have selflessly devoted my life to passing on the favor by trying to make everyone just like me.”

Photo of Betty Bowers sitting in her lofty "No Sin Zone" on OMGtv

“As such, nothing is more galling than people I don’t approve of being happy. And I would not be a True Christian™ (aka Baptist) if I didn’t view other people feeling content as a ripe opportunity to besmirch them, leech out their joy in Jesus’ name—and then and make some tax-free cash!”

Photo of Betty Bowers T-shirt emblazoned with the words, "All My Concubines Support Traditional Marriage," a registered GOP slogan, $11.99 from www.bettybowers.com

“Therefore, I encourage all homos this weekend to drunkenly climb down off those garish floats and sign an irrevocable $9,899 contract with my ex-gay ministry: BASH—Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals!”

Photo of Betty Bowers on OMGtv explaining "FUN FACTS" to viewers, i.e. why its okay to commit incest and own slaves--because the Bible says so!

“Building on the qualified success of my Ex-Negro Ministry, BASH has helped countless* gay men to find frumpy lesbian wives and renounce the silly, annoying hobby of being who they are! [*almost one!]

Photo of the Betty Bowers poster Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals (BASH), which says, "Since I was BASHED by Jesus, the only thing I put in my mouth is this pipe!"

Visit her website or befriend her on Facebook today for more fun homophobic stuff!

I hope you learn something watching the following enlightening video: “Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else”:

The Traditional Marriage video above just won "Most Humorous YouTube Video 2009." Check out Betty's acceptance speech now (“With great kindness and even greater disgust, America's Best Christian appears at the 2009 Atheist Film Festival [via satellite to avoid mingling with the unsaved] to accept her award”):

In case you are of the heathen persuasion , watch this video of “Betty Bowers Explaining Prayer to Everyone Else”:

Enjoy this classic video of Betty Bowers Debating Everyone's Favorite Ex-Governor Sarah Palin:


Photo of yellow and white Avalon Daffodil Narcissus Jonquil from the author's free flower photo website http://www.freefishcaretips.com/photos26

Also visit http://www.galechesterwhittington.com/ for free humor, short stories, poems, and book excerpts from the award-winning gay author

==copyright 2009==

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